


Earning My Obsession

by KindOfEvil



Series: A Long Road to Your Heart [11]
Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Developing Relationship, Existential Crisis, M/M, Other, Seduction, Slow Burn, The Seduction of Mairon, Years of the Lamps
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-15 08:01:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28935204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KindOfEvil/pseuds/KindOfEvil
Summary: There were not many things that would catch the eye of The Dark Vala, yet the thought of a certain Maia was forever on His mind.And there were not many things that would capture the interest of Aulë's most skilled Maia, yet he found himself drawn to the most dangerous of them all.
Relationships: Maia | Maiar/Vala | Valar, Morgoth Bauglir | Melkor/Sauron | Mairon, Vala/maia - Relationship
Series: A Long Road to Your Heart [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1715368
Comments: 3
Kudos: 35





	Earning My Obsession

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry this one took sooooo long to post (I planned to post it what, two-three weeks ago?) but some things happened irl. Most of it is taken care of now so yeah... Nothing serious, just some people being really unresponsible with their duties and causing stress to others.

It was well known that amongst all Ainur and by that extent all beings that lived upon Arda it was Melkor who held a greater understanding of all things that were. Even in the beginning, before The Vision was shown to them and before any spirit sang with another in union it was Him who was given the greatest knowledge. This, however, did not mean He knew everything, far from it. For each spirit had mastery of a certain field of expertise. The Maiar were very specific in their knowledge and the Valar had a far more broad understanding but lacked the details. Melkor Himself was an anomaly in this, He knew a bit of everything and understood most of all how everything connected. And this knowledge He was unwilling to share with others for to Him it seemed they were keen on taking the credit for it. But this did not prevent Him from seeking knowledge of others, as it only increased His already great power. Things that Ilúvatar designed to keep hidden from Him He easily found by simple observation or in the minds of other Ainur.

Some were not hard to persuade into revealing it and some need a bit more push which more often than not left their spirit in a pile of shards and not likely to reform anytime soon. Truly, it was better for everyone involved to just give The Dark Vala what He desired.

His kin was not pleased with His ways, they prefered to mend this defect of theirs by partaking in a shared song with each other and their many Maiar. While this method proved to be less destructive it also left many things unrevealed. It would take ages to get most of the information, and even then it would not be all. Taking a direct look into someone's mind was far more useful, especially to the one who did not care for the consequences.

At least it was that way until He found His forces dwindled. Those who were not broken were still distraught and fled across Arda, taking strange forms and hiding in a place that would stay undiscovered for many ages. And those who were broken, but managed to restore themselves often did not return to His side. Like cowards they were, they crawled back to the Valar begging for forgiveness.

Only ones who willingly opened their minds to Him still stood behind Him, and there were not nearly enough of them. Tempting as it was He could not risk further reducing their numbers.

There was also one particular spirit that He was not willing to risk losing, no matter the knowledge he held. 

Mairon had proven to be an interesting subject to observe, for many of his mannerisms and behaviours directly contradicted the prior knowledge He had of their rank. He was disobedient, sharp-tongued and extremely bold. Unusual characteristics for a Maia to have. Even more unusual was the dissatisfaction He displayed in regards to the mediocre role bestowed upon him.

And Melkor was not the only one to notice this, many of Maia's peers openly commented on his strange behaviour. They did not understand him and it seemed at times that Mairon did not want them to. For he rarely if ever took part in a conversation with them, even less a shared song. He only sang to the metal when he shaped it, as was expected of Maiar smiths, but never did his song reveal his deeper thoughts and feelings save for when he was with Melkor. 

It mostly happened when He crossed some line or other and the Maia quite clearly screeched his dissatisfaction with Him.

Still, it was safe to say Melkor was the one who has heard the most of his song.

What would Aulë say if he found out this interesting little fact? His face would surely turn bright red in rage. The thought alone brought a wicked grin to the Vala's face.

"I dost not care what mischief is on Thine mind, but be warned; should it disturb my work Thou willst regret it." The voice of His favourite spirit brought Him back to reality and the scornful face of fire-Maia before Him. And He was forced to swallow His laughter at the scene; a small being whose height barely reached to His shoulders was standing in front of Him with his arms crossed over his puffed out chest, giving Him the look that would have many of his kind cowering under the table. Only His precious would dare to threaten a Vala with that look.

"Worry not, I assure thee that no foul thoughts art playing around in My mind." Then with a sly wink He added. "-for now."

"Why am I not convinced?" The Maia turned on his heel making his way back to the workbench.

"Thou art never convinced." Melkor followed him, offering complaints that fell onto deaf ears as Mairon continued assembling his latest project. The Vala observed the skilled fingers as they meticulously linked pieces together. "There is information that I would desire from thee."

The fire spirit paused at His words, "What art Thou referring to?" His voice carried the tone of mistrust.

"Awfully suspicious of Me aren't thou?" Melkor pointed out.

"I have heard things, and I had the pleasure of seeing things," The Maia said, edging away from Him, "and I will have to disappoint Thee, for the prospect of collecting the pieces of my broken spirit does not sound very appealing to me."

Melkor's hand unconsciously rubbed at His chest. "I would not do that to thee, have I not already promised not to harm thee? Have I ever broken this promise?" He reached out to lightly grasp the other spirit's chin.

Mairon shifted, as much as he could while being pinned between the stone workbench and Melkor's imposing form. "Thou have not," He hesitated, determining whether to voice his next words or not, "Alas, Thou hast the reputation of not holding true to Thine words."

The Vala leaned closer, "Only when they art spoken to those I care not for." His thumb traced the fine curve of Maia's jaw. "There art times when thou art willing to go as far as to openly insult Me, and yet at times thou act as if afraid I will punish thee for much less."

Mairon's eyes avoided His gaze. "It is hard for me to understand Thine intent." He said, "Things I hear and things I see contradict themselves, how do I know I am not being deceived like so many others?"

"Because thou art different."

"Others were convinced of that as well."

The heavy silence fell between them. And the Vala was not satisfied with Mairon's answer, yet as much as He disliked it he was not wrong, that was the worst part about it. Had He known those Maiar would go around blabbering such things He would have made sure to silence them beforehand. Now His Precious's head was filled with nonsense. He let go of the Maia and walked away, pretending to take interest in various clutter spread all over the forge and trying to ignore the uncomfortable silence that fell around them. "I simply wished to speak with thee." 

Mairon's features relaxed somewhat but the suspicious look remained. "About?" 

The Vala picked a random cup from another Maia's table - unfinished in its current state. Not that finishing it would make it any better. "Thou hast spoken to Me before, about the frustrations of being a Maia. I have tried to obtain knowledge on this from others but unlike thee they did not seem to have given the subject much thought."

The fire Maia's brow twitched at the mention of 'obtaining knowledge' but he did not comment on it. "Wouldst Thou not have a better understanding of such things than myself?" He asked after a while.

"I would have thought so. However," He let the cup fall back onto the table with audible clang, not bothering to stop it before it rolled over the other side and made another noisy sound. He briefly wondered what kind of sound would He create if He did the same with every object in the room - probably not the one Mairon would appreciate. "Thine behaviour has made Me question My own understanding of it."

Glancing back at his own project for but a moment the Maia stood up and approached Him. "My behaviour?" He crossed his arms over his chest, cocking his head to the side and giving the Vala a questioning look.

"Aye, to My understanding Maiar art supposed to take great pleasure in obeying their Vala, any Vala for that matter, but their chosen one especially." He turned to Mairon. "Yet thou seem to be set on disobeying as many orders as thou possibly canst. It is counterintuitive."

The fire spirit huffed in annoyance. "It is not that I want to be disobedient! Thou just art not requesting what I would like to do."

"Funny Thine thoughts immediately go to Me." Melkor laughed, "Also I do not think that thou understands how orders work, Precious."

An endearing pout graced Maia's face. "Other Valar do not ask their Maiar to do things they art not comfortable with." He reasoned.

Melkor leaned down to Mairon's eye level. "I wonder about that." He said, "Shall we test it then?" Hie reached out to gently caress Maia's cheek with the back of His clawed fingers. "Come to Me." He ordered. And with only slight hesitation the Maia took a step closer, and then another one, until they were but a breath apart. And Melkor wound both His arms around the slender form bringing their bodies together. The Maia in His arms trembled slightly but did not make move to get away, instead, he leaned further into the embrace lifting his hands to rest them onto His chest. The Dark Vala's amusement grew ever higher as His Precious fully leaned into His form and closed his eyes. And as much as it pained Him to ruin the moment He could not pass the opportunity to tease. "Well?" He asked in a suggestive voice.

It made Mairon snap out of the light trance he let himself fall into. "What?" The Maia asked, looking up at His self-satisfied expression. He gave an annoyed humph accompanied by several tiny glowing sparks that flew from his hair.

Melkor's grin got even wider. "How did it feel? Was I correct in my assumption?"

This time the fire spirit did push away from Him, untangling himself from His arms and Melkor let him. "Perhaps." He snapped marching back to the worktable.

The Vala chuckled. As if He was ever going to get an admission from the Maia. "There is one more thing," He stood behind Mairon close enough for their bodies to touch, placing His hands at each side of him and leaning over. "Every Maia has a passion, or rather a purpose with which they were created. It is what makes them who they are. It is what makes them similar to one another but also distinct, unique." He rested His head atop Mairon's, enjoying the gentle caress of silken strands across His face and the warm scent of His beloved Maia. "All of Aulë's Maiar art smiths, yet not all of them do the same work."

"Some art simply not suited for specific tasks." Mairon explained, suddenly very stiff in his posture. "Some have greater skill with iron and some with copper, some find joy in smaller crafts and some prefer to work on larger projects. Aulë makes sure to give us the kind of work that suits us the best." He shivered as Melkor leaned further, rubbing His cheek against his before settling in the nook of his neck.

"And yet thou art unsatisfied."

"I am not!" The Maia protested. "It's just... I do not like repetition, there seems to be so much we can do and creating the same type of objects time and time again makes me feel as if I am moving in circles. I wish to challenge myself, to see just how far I can go, how am I to do that if I am making things I already know I can make?"

Melkor pressed His lips against the sensitive skin of Mairons neck, eliciting shiver from the smaller spirit. "And thou art the only one who worries about these things, correct?"

"I am the only one who has already mastered everything else." He reasoned, "Others make many mistakes in their works, for me it is a rare occurrence."

A snicker sounded beside his ear and soon the cold lips of the Vala closed around the tip of his ear. "Arrogant, aren't we?"

Mairon flinched away, covering his ear. "Aware of my skill." He corrected glaring daggers at the Vala.

"And what does thine Vala do about this?"

Mairon's voice became quiet. "He... told me to be patient, that there would be more things that would require my input. He does not approve of my new creations and sees no purpose in them. Though he does let me continue developing them as long as I still make contributions with things that we do have the need of."

"How kind of him." Melkor said, voice full of blatant sarcasm. He leaned closer again, breath brushing against Mairon's ear, "I would let thou create whatever thou wishes to."

In return, the Maia placed one fine hand over His face and rudely pushed Him away. "Stop that! I know what game Thou art playing!" 

"I play no games! Come with Me, I desire thee more than thine own Vala, more than any other Ainur!"

"I can't!" Mairon yelled, "I can't..." he added in a lower voice. 

Melkor watched him, slightly annoyed at yet another rejection. He let out a sigh, "Fine, let us speak no more of this for now. I will let thee think about it some more."

"My answer will not change."

'That is what thou believes.' He did not voice this however, the previous words have already made His precious upset enough. Yet He knew it to be true, He could see that refusal no longer came as easily to the other spirit as before, it was but a matter of time before the Maia switched sides.

"May I ask Thee a question in return?" The Maia asked after a short pause. 

"Whatever knowledge thou desires of Me I will gladly share."

Mairon gave a low hum. "Why dost Thou think I was made to be the spirit of fire?"

The question left the Vala speechless, "That is... a peculiar thing to ask. Does there need to be a reason?"

"Fire is a destructive force," The fire spirit explained, "it seeks to undo everything that is made. And yet I am a forge spirit, meant for creation of new things. Does it not seem contradictory to my nature?"

"Fire is needed for thine work is it not?" The Vala offered.

"Yet no other Maia of Aulë is a spirit of fire. Everyone else sings of earth and metal, of things that are material in nature, there are those that are like me, but they sing of molten rock rather than pure flames. They can shape earth and metals without the use of their fana, which is not something I can easily do as a Maia of fire.* While it is true that fire is needed for my craft, it is but a tool given to all of us. Having it be a part of myself is not as advantageous as one would assume, other than not being affected by other flames. It is a destructive and unpredictable force that often just gets in the way of things, in which way does it suit me? I love creation, and I love order, but these art not the things that are born from the flames."

"What about other fire spirits? What role do they have then, is not the one of a smith?"

Mairon shook his head. "Arien, she is Vána's Maia, who takes care of kelvar is the only one I know of, other than..." He trailed off.

Melkor gave him an unimpressed look, "Balrogs. And what does Arien's fire have to do with kelvar other than making them taste better?"

Mairon stared at Him in shock. "Tast- No nevermind, I do not need to know!"

"Never tried meat before, Precious?" The Dark Vala grinned.

"Nay! And not planning to!" The Maia glared at Him, "Do not change the subject."

"Alright, alright. What makes thou think I would have an answer for such a question?"

"Thou art contradictory by nature. Made of both extreme heat and extreme cold, yet Thine heat does not melt away the ice and neither does Thine eternal cold extinguish the fire, unless Thou wishes it so. And it is in Thine actions as well; Thou is capable of creating great things, but with each creation comes a degree of destruction. No matter how much I think of this it does not make sense to me."

"That is because thine understanding of creation and destruction is fundamentally wrong, My brilliant flame. There can not be creation without destruction, I most of all understand this. It is only through the destruction that we may learn what needs an improvement. This goes for thou as well, reshaping metal into new creations is in itself a form of destruction; thou art stripping away its original form and all impurities that came with it, and then thou reshapes it into whatever thou deems fitting. If thou seeks the lesson in improvement thou will not find it with the rest of My kin, for they fear the change, they fear what it may bring. They fear that they would lose what they have, but thou can not be what thou art meant to be without it!" His claws grazed Maia's neck in a gesture far too gentle for one such as Him. "As for the fire from which thou art made, it seems to me that thou art only observing the negatives of it. There is much more to it and thou wouldst be surprised what a useful tool it canst be in the hands of a proper master."

"I fail to see how such a wild and unpredictable thing can be relied upon for any task."

He leaned forward, pulling Maia's chin up. He held his gaze, keeping less than a breath away from his lips. "A fire can be tamed." 

* * *

Melkor's words echoed in Mairon's mind as he continued his work, long after the Vala had made himself scarce. He was convinced that fire can be tamed, but as someone who had lived his entire life as one Mairon had his doubts. It was one of greater annoyances of being a fire spirit, an eternal thorn at his side. But a moment of carelessness could bring forth the massive destruction. It was a common occurrence in the beginning, when they were still young and inexperienced. But Mairon had since learned how to lock away the flames of his soul in the physical form so that their heat can not cause harm to those around him. 

Even now Mairon could feel its eternal warmth beneath the skin of his slender fingers as they absentmindedly assembled the pieces of the new mechanism. If there was not a layer of flesh containing it in, the entire room would have been covered in flames in an instant. He had long accepted the fact that it was something he will have to deal with for the rest of his existence. Yet now a thought has made its way into his mind. And how tempting it was, if he could tame his own flames and keep them under control, they truly would be a great asset to him. He already had greater control than Arien, and now that Melkor suggested it to be possible he was itching to give it a try. 

His fingers closed around a single cog lifting it up high enough for him to properly observe.

But this was not the place for such an experiment, he was already accused once of sabotaging another Maia's work and a failure would surely make them bring it up again.

Nor could he request the help of Aulë, he would not approve of such a dangerous thing.

He twirled the metal piece in his hand, brushing the jagged gears.

"In the mountains maybe?" He thought out loud. They were neither too far away nor too close, nobody was likely to easily find him there and most importantly there would not be much damage done if he were to fail.

His eyes moved to the mechanism on the table, and the remaining couple of pieces waiting to be put in their place. And his mind wandered to other things said between him and The Dark Vala. For the longest time he had been taught that every single piece had its purpose, and they were all needed to make one whole. For success to be achieved all of the pieces had to perfectly fit into their place and they all had to do their part of the work. It was the goal from the get-go; they would all be set into their own place, every instrument would play its own role and make harmony together. And the world would be complete.

Everyone in Almaren still functioned as if that were the case but it was becoming more and more evident that there were pieces falling out of order and getting misshapen. It seemed inevitable and made him wonder if the world was faulty by design rather than simply being corrupted by Melkor's song. After all, many who had sung with the Vala did not follow Him to Arda, and many who had not joined Him then did so now. Did His song corrupt them as well or was the change of their own doing? 

It was a blasphemous thought, the one a Maia must not entertain. But somehow it helped calm him, as it left a space in the world for an anomaly such as him.

Mairon's attention shifted to the golden box before him. He placed the cog in its place and picked the next piece, briefly checking it for any faults before plopping it into its place as well. He had taken a bit more liberty with this one, the purpose of it was still as planned but he had made some changes without giving them much thought so that even he did not know what the final result would be.

Why had he done such a thing? 

Mairon did not know, perhaps he was curious as to how Melkor could create such grand things as the Iron Mountains without meticulously planning them beforehand. Perhaps he wanted to give it a try himself. It would probably be a failure though.

Even though he tried to keep things unplanned he still felt as if there was some invisible force guiding his hand. His unconsciousness perhaps? Then his plan was already ruined, but this he would not be certain of until he was done.

His vision started getting blurry, and the light reflected off the metal surface burned his eyes. Tell-tale signs that his fana was at its limit. Had he been working on it for so long? Mairon rubbed his eyes and shook his head, but his sight did not get any better. "Cursed flesh." He grumbled pulling a bronze medallion from his pocket. It opened with a click and inside thin metal hands ticked in circles. It had been hours. He had not even noticed. The watch was shoved back into his pocket. No matter, the piece was finished anyway.

When did he finish it?

With a sigh Mairon pulled the smith's apron off himself, neatly folded it and put it in its place before turning to the mess on his table. He made quick work of it, had his physical form been a bit more cooperative he would have made sure to clean up properly but as it was he would collapse if he did not get some rest soon. He picked up the golden box from the worktable and tried to ignore the spinning floors and walls as he made his way through the forges and back to his room.

The fire-Maia did not even bother lighting up the fireplace, instead, he just collapsed into his nest of blankets and pillows and closed his eyes. He should have let his fana rest then and there but he doubted he could rest easily without first properly inspecting his work. 

With a great effort, he opened his aching eyes and observed the box in his hands. The golden lid was decorated with twisting filigree. A relief of tall mountains stretched in a loop across the side together with detailed forests and plains and hidden amongst them was a keyhole.

It took him far too many tries to insert the key into it, not because the design was faulty, rather his tired eyes were. Perhaps he should pay more attention to Aulë's words from now on and allow his body to rest before it turned useless. Once he managed to get the key inside he began twisting it, one, two, three... six times. Then, taking a deep breath, he removed it and opened the lid, revealing the engraved map of the entire Arda, as they knew it. The melody began playing before him, and Mairon closed his eyes again, letting his sense of hearing fully take over. The golden box rested onto his chest and all the strength left his limbs as his fana prepared to fall into a deep slumber.

And then it was shaken to awakeness again. With a frightful speed he closed the box, cutting the music midway.

His breath caught in his throat.

It was Melkor's theme.

**Author's Note:**

> *Maiar naturally know how to manipulate the part of the world that corresponds to their song/power, they can be taught to do other things but it is significantly more difficult to do so. Especially if it contradicts their nature. Mairon being a Maia of fire can't easily shape earth and mountains the same way most of Aulë's Maiar can. (and they can't manipulate fire as well as he can)
> 
> Mairon is also not yet good at controlling his own flames as there is no one to learn from. (pretty much all fire Maiar went to Melkor who had the closest connection to fire among the Valar, and other Valar don't have the mastery of it as he does)


End file.
